“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” ~ Matthew 6:14 –> 爸,我要神原諒我,所以… 我就原諒你. 但是… 我們都已經沒家人的事了… 我只想要媽媽開心,想她終於能看到她是神最漂亮的女兒。你碎了我們的心,但是為了我們的自由還為了讓神開心… 我就原諒你,要是你就永遠都不會有力量傷我們的心. bye.

This headed up my Facebook status earlier. Translating the part I wrote in Chinese, it says simply this: “father, i want God to forgive me, so I will forgive you. However… we are already not family. I only want my mom to be happy, I want her to finally see that she is God’s most beautiful daughter. You broke our hearts, but for the sake of our freedom and for the sake of making God happy, I forgive you, so that you will never have the power to break our hearts again.”

Struggling to forgive, straining for justice, I judged this man and labeled him a sinner. I name his sin. Adultery. Abandonment. Pride. Lust. Greed. Materialism. Selfishness. Being a dbag in general.

But what makes me different?

Adultery. Have I not forsaken my Beloved in order to chase after things of this world? Have I not walked away from Jesus, broken His heart, and chosen sin above perfection?

Abandonment. I leave my first Love in order to find something He is willingly giving me: unfathomable, inexplicable, beautiful beyond reason LOVE.

Pride. If I ever claim not to be a prideful person, I show my pride already. I take great measures to never seem wrong, even if I must attack God’s person.

Lust. I hunger for and chase after things that are not godly, things that break His heart.

Greed. I want. I want. I want. I want this. I want that. My want is insatiable.

Materialism. This will make me feel happier. With this, I need nothing else… but the only thing that will allow me to need nothing else is if I have God.

Selfishness. I don’t know why people don’t think I’m selfish. Do I really hide it that well? I am more self-centered than I let on, I suppose.

Being a dbag… well……. I mistreat people. I judge people. I play favorites. I ignore those I don’t like. I will be the biggest jerk to you if I find fault in you.

His sins are my sins. They may have manifested in our lives in different ways, but what difference is there, really? Sin is sin. I need to take the plank out of my own eye before I can ever hope to take the speck out of another’s.

I want to be pleasing to God. I want to be forgiven by God. God wants me to forgive those who have done me wrong, and even more so, He wants me to love those people.

The sinless God came to the earth He created, relinquishing His right to be praised and putting on a servant’s clothes to wash the feet of those He taught. The sinless God who had and still has every right to be angry and hateful toward us who break His heart over and over and over and over again… the sinless God who chose to forgive and whose love compelled Him to die for those who break His heart and His laws in order to allow them to come back into fellowship with Him.

The innocent sought the guilty for reconciliation.

So how can I, in my selfishness, justify hating this man for what he did to me? For breaking my heart and abandoning me when I am just as guilty as he.

Forgiveness is the key to freedom. Forgiving someone is not for them, it is for us. Forgiving someone releases us from our anger, releases us from our bitterness, releases us from the cage we locked ourselves in, and allows us to use all that wasted energy and time to focus on more important and lasting things like putting a smile on our Father’s face.

The person who hurt us could care less what happens to us. The person who hurt us probably doesn’t even think of us anymore.

So why do we give them the pleasure of thinking of them everyday of our lives? Why do we waste our energy hating them when they don’t waste theirs thinking of us?

Forgive. Forgive and be free.

Forgiving him… forgiving my father… it will be something I will be doing for the rest of my life. I will pray for him. I will pray against his sin, but I also must pray blessings on him. I am called to a higher standard: Love those who persecute you.

By this… they will know we are God’s disciples: our love.


Mr. Gao.

I forgive you.

2 thoughts on “Freedom

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