Who am I? Who am I that the God of the universe would even know my name and care about my details? Who am I that the Creator of everything spent time to give me the life I have, to give me a story to love? True, this story has had its fair share of scars and tears, but from these scars and tears grew joy and smiles and overwhelming love and thankfulness.
Who am I that a man should bear my punishment? That I should be spared and He should be suffering? Who am I that I should receive forgiveness when I truly deserve not an ounce of it?
Jeremiah 1:19 promises trials. They will come from every side, every angle, everywhere a shadow casts. They will come in their multitudes, equipped with the necessary weapons to defeat us. Lust, hunger, desire, money, stability – their weapons are great, and they know which to use and how to use them most effectively.
But they will not overcome us. He is with us to rescue us. When we think we cannot overcome temptation, He shows us we can through Him. When we think all hope is lost, He shows us our hope is in Him. When we think it’s the end for us, He shows us our new beginning with Him.
Why? Why is the weak and timid sparrow allowed to become a strong and spirited phoenix? “The appearance of a phoenix” – a name to live up to for the rest of my life, rising from the ashes to a new beginning. Who am I that i should be allowed to bear such a name? That I should see trial after trial become blessing after blessing?
Who am I that You should even care about me? That I should even receive a second glance?
You’re My daughter, He says. It’s as simple as that. He smiles then. And I love you.
I am Your beloved. I am Your rebellious daughter. I break Your heart, come back for food and shelter, then I break it again. Your love is greater and stronger than anything I could ever begin to dream about. It is a love that sent an innocent Man to die for the most guilty of girls. Who am I that I should receive such a gift?
My precious child.
I miss you, Daddy.
This is who I am. I am a failure who’s trying. I am a deserter who’s learning to commit to Him. I am a broken and dirty sinner who’s learning to allow my Father to wash me clean and clothe me in white.
I am Yours. It’s as simple as that.