pre and post "Smile"

I wrote this in a message, and I think it gives some good background to my last post as well as things I continue to learn even after writing it (I wrote the message after I wrote the journal entry).

here we go:

Well, it’d been about a week or so since I’ve read my bible. That’s pretty important for you to know. I’ve really been half-assing it this whole time. It’s a chore for me, it seems. I’m sure a lot of people have felt that.

Today I continued where I left off on my adventures through Exodus and Luke. I read the section regarding Moses’ calling. I’ve read that many times. I thought I knew all there was to know. But it never works out that way, does it?

Anywhoo, all the times I had read it before, I had always noticed Moses’ reluctance. I don’t even remember much of what God said, except that He would strike against the Egyptians. Am I painting a good picture for you so far?

This time, I was pretty surprised at what I read. God said He hears the cries of the Israelites and is concerned for them. He says He’s watched over Israel, and that He will be with them. He’s seen what’s been done to them, and promises to bring them out of their misery.

I went through the birth of Jesus in Luke today. His audience wasn’t much for the birth of God. A carpenter (that’s what Joseph was, right?) and his wife and three shepherds and a buncha farm animals.

I started journaling about a scene I had seen in my mind yesterday night with me free-falling backwards from a cliff. I think my meeting place with Jesus had always been a cliff as a symbolism of leaps of faith I’d have to take. But anyway, as I was journaling, I thought I had painted the picture of what I had seen yesterday, but then the scene continued before my eyes and I penned it down.

I realized when I was journaling that I had been looking at Jesus with the wrong eyes. Even now as I wrote what I read to you, I saw some more of how much I seemed to have misunderstood Him. I was scared of Him. I wanted to do things that I thought He wouldn’t condemn me for. I was afraid that He’d turn His back on me, so I kept trying to DO things.

But that’s not what He wants. And He’s not one to do that. Even in the OT, where God is often thought of as “scary” and “vengeful” to people, He says He hears the cry of the people He loves. And during the birth of Jesus, there weren’t war-driven chariots that announced His coming with fire and destruction. He was surrounded by ordinary people.

The rest I’ll write in my notes cuz I don’t think I’ll be allowed to send it here (too long).

It’s strange what happens when scales fall from your eyes, and your perspective changes.


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