waiting on God

Waiting, I’ve realized, really isn’t one of my strong suits.

I think that I’m facing some of the most difficult trials ever because it’s almost all 100% waiting. Waiting for, waiting on……. it’s pretty difficult for me either way, I think.

This whole ordeal with CSUF still isn’t resolved. I’m really not sure what’s going on. I’m assuming they need my grades for this semester. Seeing as how I’m transferring in as a senior, I’m assuming I’d be at the top of the list. =/ Really….. it’s not a matter of if I’ll get in, it’s when.

Going back to HK this time really kinda hurt almost. I was only able to spend 4 days there. I got to see my kids twice. It wasn’t as difficult to leave, not because I wanted to, but I think because I saw that after these couple months, they still love me the same, it gave me faith that it’ll be okay no matter the amount of time it’ll take in the end.

So I guess this time around, I’m not so much worried about whether or not they’ll still remember me, I’m just sad that there’s less time I get to spend with them, I suppose, less opportunity.

I’ve thought about finishing my degree overseas, but I guess I pretty much know that God wants me to finish in the States. It’ll probably help me out a lot. O.o Just gotta stick it through.

But during this time, I don’t need to be, and I can’t afford to be idle. I’ve gotta work on a lot of things. Study habits, breaking senioritis, learning more Chinese, learning other things I wanna learn and still have time to right now, finding a job and saving money, living a healthier lifestyle… I think I’m motivated. Ha.

All of the kids told me I have to work hard and study hard so that I can come back soon. haha. my kids are so cute. I miss them all already.

All righty…… jet lag is killing me. I’m gonna lie down. -__-;;

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wow, Jesus… WOW…

I don’t even know how to start this post. O.o

Today started off really rough, but you know… strangely enough, I can say it was a good day.

About a month ago, I got an email from CSUF regarding my registration date for spring semester, and well, it was this morning, but I found out this morning that I haven’t been accepted to the school yet. I was incredibly frustrated in the morning cuz more or less everything kinda fell apart from how things were “supposed” to be.

I definitely wanted to curse up a storm this morning, but I felt it on my heart to listen to God and get into His word instead. I kept asking where He wanted me to go, and I recalled hanging out with Phoebe yesterday and she mentioned Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

It hit me at that moment, and I was like… “Dang, Jesus!”

Within a few minutes from that, I wasn’t even thinking about whether or not I’d get in by Spring or how frustrated I was with the school. The only thing on my mind suddenly was how I could bless God while going through all the craziness.

Worrying about and getting angry over this situation isn’t going to make them accept me any quicker.

And I realized that if I hadn’t hung out with Phoebe yesterday, I know that today would’ve been much different. What happened yesterday was what allowed what happened today to happen smoother. Did that make sense? It’s a little late. But yeahh….. it wasn’t like we planned anything. We planned to meet Friday, and instead of going to the FedEx and sitting there for 45 minutes, Phoebe called me just in time, and I had somewhere to be for that extra amount of time.

God’s been trying to teach me to trust Him, and I knew more than anything that I really needed to give up a whole heck of a lot of pride and planning. Well…… talk about giving up control, huh? heh.

So somehow, I don’t feel angry or frustrated. A little bit annoyed, but more than anything, I feel really blessed. And lots of peace.

thanks for everyone’s prayers! =)