I feel like my brain might be too tired to really put everything into words, but i will try my best.
I am having difficulty finding purpose in being back. It almost feels like a pitstop to going back to HK after college. But each pitstop has its purpose, too. There’s going to be plenty of things that I will have to learn before going back, and I guess that’s what this pitstop is for. I will have to listen closely to God’s voice and teaching.
Since coming back, my confidence in returning to HK has wavered because there are more distractions at this point. I really need to work hard and fill myself with Jesus while I’m here. And I guess in a selfish way, I’m afraid that after a few months, my kids won’t miss me as much… and we won’t talk as much… and we’ll fall away. Distance and time often makes people forget. =/
I called one of my kids through Skype yesterday. He was still trying to wake up, but he said that he misses me a lot. I miss him, too. And all of my kids. It’s been difficult being back in this apartment with non-Christian roommates who more or less don’t care about the life-changing aspect of the trip, but just want to hear about what HK is like by itself.
Everything else that I’m used to worrying about…….. I know I need to just stop worrying. If God’s already got me down for HK, then being in the US is already taken care of.
I think this is all I can fathom for right now. O.o