the enemy wastes no time in getting on his prey, does he?
all afternoon, I’ve been hearing his lies. My heart is sad because I’m alone in California again, but it’s also rejoicing because the wall came down. I’m vulnerable again. God has a little more room to work again.
But all afternoon, he played on the sadness I felt. he whispered in my ears the lie that God is torturing me by letting me see my friends for such a short amount of time, and then leaving me alone again. I’d even almost asked why a few times, but every time I started, the truth came to me before I could even utter a sound.
This was a glimpse of what heaven would be like.
I’m not being tortured. I’m not being punished. With this short visit, mountains have come down, and titanium walls have crumbled. I reunited with two old friends, but I also reunited myself with one more: me. The me who knew how to be happy… the me who loved to love and cared to care… the me who did not allow her financial status to rule her no matter how troubled she was by it… the me who wanted to make a difference in this world and draw closer to God.
Seeing this old friend is interesting. She’s reminding me that I can have happiness. She’s reminding me that all of this is temporary. She’s reminding me that I have to be faithful. She’s reminding me that the sadness that binds me can be broken down by love, friendship, and my relationship with Christ.
This is truth. Sadness does not have to bind me. Anger does not have to bind me. I am loved, and I am strong because of Him. He’s not out to get me… He’s the only one who knows how to help me grow and keep walking.
You guys have done so much more for me than you know. Thanks again for visiting. It was hard to say goodbye again, but I’m all the more excited to say hello again. 🙂
love you guys.
peace and love.